Just got home from a date with a beautiful girl who likes me and whom I
have interesting conversations with, but this time next week she'll be in Europe.

Goddamnit...

Caffeine Update:

Tuesday: two 500ml cans of mother, one cup of coffee and half a mocha chill.

Wednesday: One can of V.

Thursday: ONE JUG of Coke and  a Red Bull Shot

Friday: One Caramelcino Supashake.

I experienced what could only be described as a caffeine hangover on wednesday. This combination of late nights and junk food is taking a toll on my system. The annoying thing is that I won't get that much chance to rest after this week because I have three major assignments due, one of which I have yet to start.

Being a useless tutor in a lab sucks

Ellie was supposed to come to Panto last night, but she got too drunk and passed out in her best friends car. At least she's okay I guess. She says shes coming tonight, but I dunno...

Yay afterparty tonight, oh and we Sold out for the first time since Sherlock. Very much due to our awesome producers, and the zombie protest. I'm hoping to do the same type of thing in the future with other Pantos.

It's sad to think that I only have a semester left at uni, but after that I'm going to Europe/America for a while, and then I can come back and do honours hopefully. Whether or not I'll still have the time for Panto is another question entirely.

caffeine Count:

1 500ml can of mother

2 250 ml cans Red Bull, that was about an hour ago.

HOLLLY SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIT I' m wired right now.

Probably also due to Metric, who were really really awesome live. They added that extra something that you just can't capture on a record. I may be tempted to write a better sounding review when I'm not so wired.

Must give props to Matt, Wolves are indeed a great  band, and I'm annoyed that I can't
go to their headline gig this Friday.....

Hooo Boy I'm going to be screwed for work tomorrow morning.....

friday Night was Science Ball, grand time was had, good food, good champagne, good friends, good fun.
Amps was a blast too, although i don't know why i do it in such painful shoes.

Crashed and Burned early last night after being all set to go to sin, but I watched Boondock saints instead. Good decision.

I'm still tired today and bump-in hasn't even started yet.

I want to see just how addicted I become over the next week

So watch this space as I keep count of my caffeine intake.

Today:

1 Can of Mother Surge,

1 600ml bottle Coke Zero

Probably more before the day is out but we'll see!

I wish to take a moment to wank on about the awesomeness that is Batman: Arkham Asylum.

I know I'm a little late to the party here, but who gives a shit, because it's still kicking!

The combat  works really well, and flows so smoothly into the game, and the stealth element is awesome. Just hanging up there, dropping
down and taking out a guy and promptly disappearing again is one of the most satisfying things. The sections keep getting more and more complicated with extra traps and other items around, oh and the guys with guns will take you out really quickly.

The atmosphere though, is probably the best thing about this game. Arkham is in the Joker's control, and he will keep commenting and taunting you everywhere you go. The scarecrow pops up and pumps you full of his fear toxin, and a whole new section begins. After that, you never know when what you're seeing is real, or just an illusion. Still the best thing I've seen is the game over screen when you fight Bane. In the Comics, Bane's most famous fight against Batman ended with Bane breaking Batman's spine. IF you lose to him, this scene gets recreated, which I thought was a very nice touch.

The voice acting from Mark Hamill as the Joker is fantastic. Quite simply he is the best man to ever play the Joker. Batman does sound a bit silly from time to time, but his general bland take on everything helps the other characters shine, Particularly Mr. Zasz

I'm still playing through it, but it's definitely my favourite release so far this year, and I still haven't got the Joker for Challenge mode yet!

Went to a gig on Friday night, expecting to see Shock! Horror!, but in a strange and fortunate turn of events they were the opening act and not the closing act ( and according to people I knew in the crowd, a bit shit) but instead I saw a band called Apricot Rail.

And My.... God...

Their music was just.... amazing, its really hard to describe what it felt like to just stand there and listen to these five people play their instruments with all these nice little atmospheric touches. It's the kind of music that makes you think, "who care's if life sucks right now, when theres music like this in the world?" Honestly I haven't been this moved by music since I first heard the Arcade Fire. The other thing to note here is that it was a mostly instrumental performance, but that took nothing away from what I saw. I bought their EP then and there and its been getting heavy rotation in my car, its great driving music for the kind of weather we've been having.

I really have to thank these guys for helping me remember just how much I love music. Hell, I could've been diagnosed with terminal cancer, been robbed, beaten up and forced to sleep on the street after that show and I would have still enjoyed it. Also, who would've thought the clarinet could be used to make actually beautiful music? I guess I'm just too used to my brothers mutilation of its sound to consider that...

Thanks to a few people asking me, "Brad, what should I buy you for your birthday?"
I have decided to write a short list of things I would like.

1. a 1967 Cadillac el Dorado Convertible, Hot Pink! with whale skin hubcaps, an
all leather cow interior and big round baby seal eyes for headlights yeah!

2. A lifetime membership of the Ministry of Silly Walks

3. Weapons Grade Plutonium

4. The cryogenically frozen head of Walt Disney.

5. a Dental Plan

6. A dodo egg

and a pony ( what wishlist would be complete without one?)

but seriously, I'm not really good on what i want as things I would ask for normally fall in the price category upwards of 1000 dollars, so I best give you all hints of the kinds of things I like if you're strapped for cash:

1. I enjoy Scotch and Red Wines.

2. I smoke Davidov Cigars

3. I am a music lover, and love anything that enhances the musical experience.

4. I play guitar and love anything that enhances the playing experience

5. I read a lot of comic books, with my favourite characters being Batman and Deadpool.

6. I have a Blu-Ray Player, and do prefer the hi-defness of it when watching movies.

Okay I'm going to stop there because this just feels silly. That should be enough to get you going,

I'm looking at the last couple of posts I've made since my pledge to be awesome again.

Theres still quite a large amount of whine going on, and I guess most people would
say that it boils down to the fact that I'm not awesome and am in fact sad.

You know what? I'd have to agree with that.

I was looking for a muse to study, and instead I found leasticoulddo.com, a webcomic. (thanks a lot Ivo)
but it got me thinking as I read it, and I guess I had an epiphany.

Sure I get down like this following rejection and girl troubles, but the fact that I can get so affected despite the
sheer number of times it had happened, and that I still feel a similar level of self-loathing following hooking up with a random
shows that I'm still human, and that I am still at heart a good person who's just making mistakes, mistakes I have to make.

The fact that I am actually doing that is awesome in itself. A sort of beauty in all this sadness.

I'm on the right track, and I know where I'm going, that does not mean I'm not going to get stuck in a few potholes on the way...

Sadness reared its ugly head again.
Although its not really sadness, more a kind of melancholic mindset.
Theres no reason for this feeling, but I can't seem to shake it no matter what I do.

It Could be Chani.

                                  But It's not. I'm 1000% sure of that.

It Could be my Grandfather in Hospital
                                                        But He's 100% fine and going home tomorrrow.

Is it the expected feelings of self-loathing that come every time I meet one of these random women?
The passing interest  of the evening that leaves me
faster than the contents of my stomach onto
a nightclub bathroom floor?

Is it the fact that I know that I'm well liked by just about everyone I meet, yet
When I'm on my own I still feel like the most isolated insignificant
speck of shit in the universe?

Or maybe, just maybe it's that this is my natural mindset,
A default model of depression, staved off by preoccupation
with the conquest of  another. or alcohol, or road trips.

I'm noticing a pattern here, a recurring wave,
It's not going to resolve itself any time soon,
So I remember people in the past

Angel...
She was so perfect, a moment in time
that I still carry with me.
She was a flame that burnt so brightly in me,
But over the years it's gone out,
my illusion was shattered by that ever-present,
ever voyeuristic application.

Whenever things got bad this was always a story I
could fall back into, but now he is there, and it becomes
real again. Did it even happen? God I can barely remember
her face....

Well I think thats all I need to rant about now, Please note this Prose is NOT an accurate representation of my mental state, it's just stuff I need to get out. I am still awesome, even awesome people need to vent once in a while.